I’m an impertinent winged girl. Here I am less than a month old and already blogging what I think the meaning of (Second) Life is, how to do things, and flagging things as important. I this is because of rule #3: don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, and rule #4: be obviously and outspokenly you. That’s from my list of rules, which I didn’t really realize I had until today, about how to find friends in Second Life.
You probably don’t need my stinking rules, since you probably have already made friends in Second Life if you’re there, or read this blog only to guffaw at how seriously all we Residents-With-a-Capital-R take our big computer game if you’re not. But just in case you’re new and happen to be just on the verge of making a lot of friends, or reclusive, or just like lists, here it is: Kate’s rules for finding friends in Second Life.
Boy, I’m feeling very impertinent indeed in posting this–but I have some wonderful friends, so I guess that makes me cocky. 😉
Making friends in Second Life is harder in some ways than in RL (real life). You can’t read people’s expressions or body language, so you have to look for people you like based on what they do and say. At the same time it’s easier: there’s less danger or awkwardness if things go bad (just say a cheerful goodbye and teleport home!).
OK, the rules:
1. Be kind.
2. Be terribly, terribly attractive and charming. Attractive isn’t too hard in Second Life if you don’t mind spending a few Lindens and some time; charming is more difficult, but it’s a very nice thing to cultivate.
3. Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Seriously. There’s a much greater danger of hiding in your shell and never connecting than there is of doing something so stupid you’ll care about it in two days.
4. Be obviously and outspokenly you. If you don’t do the things you want to and say the things that are important to you, you won’t attract friends who like those things unless they have ESP or are incredibly intuitive.
5. If possible, have ESP or be incredibly intuitive.
6. Start conversations, especially with people who aren’t already having conversations.
7. But remember that someone might have 6 IM conversations already going on when you come up to them.
8. Find something that looks really remarkable and drag it around with you. People who think it’s cool will comment on it, and then all of a sudden you’re in a conversation with somebody who thinks something you have or are doing is cool.
I figured this out by accident-I love my wings, so I’m always showing up randomly at dance clubs wearing one or another of my favorite pairs, all of which move or flutter or glow. I’ve met a lot of friends through people noticing my wings, or by me noticing something strange and cool about the other person. It also gives boys who are interested in me an alternative pickup line to “nice dress,” although for the record, the preferred line is “Nice wings! And wow, nice dress!”
My friend Chastity is a bondage cat woman with a strikingly lovely face. My friend Lyddie puts together costumes for contests with a talent that transcends simple fashion sense. My friend RaH has big spiky hair, wears pink undies when he dances, and can turn into a little black kitten at will.
9. Conversely, think carefully about appearing completely normal. You’re not completely normal, are you? (I didn’t think so.) So why look it? You don’t have to blend in anywhere: you’re whoever you are, and if that’s not good enough for the people you meet, they can take their metaphorical Lindens of Friendship and shop elsewhere-you don’t need ’em!
10. If you’re not looking for sexual play, make that clear and obvious in a friendly way early on to prevent misunderstandings. If you are looking for sexual play, or are still deciding, I don’t think there’s any rush to make things clear. 😉
11. Go new places and try new things.
12. Don’t go places you don’t enjoy trying to find people who enjoy the same things you do.
13. It may take a while to find the right people, so if necessary, spend time by yourself doing things you really enjoy instead of desperately seeking out crowds. You don’t need friends right off unless they’re the right ones. If you tie yourself up with people you’re not really excited about being with, you’ll have trouble seeking out the people who really make you happy.
Impertinence or no, there’s the list. What did I miss? Leave me a comment.
^^^\ Kate /^^^