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I won’t be the first (or the last) person to say that male avatars in Second Life have a much harder time getting gorgeous than female avatars. I thought of some reasons for this, which I’ll mention in a moment, and maybe you know of some others, but here’s the question I’m really interested in at the moment: how gorgeous can male avis get in Second Life, and who are some really gorgeous examples?


He’s not bad, huh? Of course, it depends a lot on taste. 🙂
(from Robbie Dingo’s video, in a recent post, below)

While you think about that, I’ll name some of the reasons I know of that men get the short end of the stick in Second Life in terms of physical beauty.

* First, and most obvious, is that there are lot fewer things for male avis to buy for themselves. For instance, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of really pretty hairstyles for women in Second Life. I own about 150 good ones myself, and that’s with me having almost all longer styles and almost all of them in a medium brown shade. Good men’s styles? Very few. If you want to be very picky, you might say no more than a handful!

* First Life men seem to be a lot less likely to be interested in shopping to make themselves more visually attractive, and my sense is that a lot of the males who are interested in shopping and self-beautification in Second Life find it more fun to do that as Second Life women.

* This one may be mostly personal taste, but good women’s hairstyles usually seem to need more body and sometimes length than men’s, and I don’t think Second Life is very good at hair that is short and doesn’t have much body, which is what would look good on men. So many of the men’s hairstyles either look a little girly or just don’t look great, and it’s hard to be really gorgeous without great hair.

* What generally seems to makes a man attractive may have to do with more things that are hard to simulate on Second Life. Of course, attractive personality and behavior look good on anybody, but when you’re in a world where facial expressions and gestures and even posture are hard to influence, your visual attractiveness has more to do with your clothes and body and face than with how you stand or with the character of your gaze. The standards for beauty among women, generally (making a big sweeping statement about our society and not about your tastes in particular), have a lot to do with the kind of things you can see even if you stand her very still, stiffly, against a wall. Personally what I find attractive in a woman has more to do with how she smiles (and how much she smiles), and the tilt of her head, and the subtle ways she physically communicates, but even I find it much easier to admire a cute woman’s body in a pretty dress than a strong man’s body in what (in Second Life) passes for a nice suit or something.

* Second Life is much more competent to show avis who look like they’re in their twenties than it is with avis who look like they’re older, and so while we get completely ripped off in First Life by getting subtle clues that we’re not as beautiful as we were when we were 22, men on the other hand can often stay on the top of their attractiveness game well into their fifties. Did I mention that this is horribly unfair? But women have a bit of an advantage in Second Life, where an older man just looks older, and usually not more in possession of himself or wiser or kinder or more magnetic.


See what I mean? He looks kind of dorky (no offense)
and she’s on the pretty side, although neither of
them is really my type.

So there are some reasons it’s an uphill battle for men to be gorgeous. So who are the exceptions, and what are they doing, and where are they shopping? I’d like to invite everyone, whether you usually read this blog or not, to post comments with pictures of men you think look especially gorgeous. But please don’t post pictures of your boyfriend, lover, or husband, or of yourself (unless you feel you can be completely unbiased!). And remember that this is not a question of which men *are* attractive, which takes into account speech and behavior and personality and achievements and all those wonderful things, but a much shallower question of which men *look* attractive. Please do post! Or if you know of someone you’d like to see included but don’t have a picture, let me know and I’ll try to get one. 🙂

PS – Thanks, Kit, for inspiring me to think about this from a comment in passing in your post about Rezbians!

Post-PS … Thank you, Eris, for the new userpics!! 🙂

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