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Last week my friend Kit started a discussion on her blog about why she didn’t get hit on more often. An interesting exchange followed, all about what’s in your profile, Second Life body language, Second Life gender and First Life gender, social skills, and all that.

Kit actually isn’t actually interested in going out with anyone except her girlfriend Lanna (and I think they will both know what a compliment it is when I say I think they deserve each other), although it’s nice sometimes to get the attention. But a lot of other people are! Unfortunately, it’s sometimes difficult to meet people to date in Second Life, which is just crazy because there must be thousands of people in Second Life on any given evening looking for dates! But what do you do when you want to go flirt and dance or get intimate with someone? You could go to a sex sim, I guess, if you want to have oversized members thrust through your belly by newbies with system hair (and while new Resis are wonderful, system hair and cartoon genitalia are not, I’m afraid, wonderful). You could go to a dance club and hope you see someone who’s 1) not already with someone, 2) interesting, 3) on the prowl, and 4) interested in your type of person. You could go to a hangout and talk–sometimes for hours before seeing someone who is ready to get hit on.

There is always the Diversionarium, but it’s true that that’s mainly a place for meeting other interesting people rather than finding dates, and anyway it’s closed for the moment, due for a grand reopening sooner or later in its new home in Extropia.

Anyway, I’m just saying it’s an imperfect system. So what (and I ask this because I’m me and can’t not ask such questions) would a perfect system be like? I have some ideas, and I’m curious about yours. I am not not not going to start another big project in Second Life (as much as, I have to admit it, I would love to), but maybe I can find some people who are looking to make their club something special and don’t mind me meddling. 🙂

Here are some things that I can think of that would make a really good singles club:

* Dancing, of course

* Maybe some kind of bouncer? What if the club were only for people who were willing to chat, none of the SEXS PLS people, who already have places to go?

* Traffic! This is the problem with any venue, but I think a singles venue that really did the job could build this up–but you might need hosts, DJs, regular events…or maybe (and this is a great idea someone came up with for the Div, and I wish I could remember who so I could give that person credit…maybe Argent?) some kind of communicator that lets people know when there are other people there looking for dates.

* Good music! But can that be defined?

* A laid back atmosphere.

* A little tool that people click on to register their status as available or not and who they’re interested in meeting. Then you’d either get a little floaty symbol over your head, or else people would look you up in the object to see what you’re interested in. You could say if you want just a date, or a date that ends up on animated poseballs somewhere. You could say whether you were interested in men, women, or both (or maybe even we’d have advanced gender choices). You could say whether you have rules about dating people who are in First Life relationships, or people whose First Life gender is different than their Second Life gender. You could say whether you’re looking for a relationship, a fun date, or whatever comes along. Well, I’m probably making it sound more complicated than it really would be. Mainly I’m just thinking it would be very nice for people to be able to easily figure out who else is available, and what they might be available *for*.

Of course you could put all that in your profile, but (I don’t know about you), I don’t really want my profile to read like a personals ad. I do occasionally want to go out on a date, but I don’t want my Second Life to be only about that.

Hmm, I’m running out of ideas, and that doesn’t sound like me. 😉 What about you? What can you think of that would make a place the perfect Second Life singles club?

^^^\ Kate /^^^

Things I thought of a little after posting this:

Of course there’s no singles club that will be perfect for everyone. I have friends (you know who you are! 🙂 ) whose dream date would be being made to wear something very embarrassing and then strapped down to (or as!) a piece of furniture for the evening.

Is the idea of a place specifically for singles a bad idea? I mean, if two of your regulars pair off, do you tell them not to come back unless they want to swing? Would people not want to come back after a couple of dates just to avoid that one person they dated that one time they didn’t get along with? Or are these exactly the same problems as in First Life?

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