There are a few people in First Life who know I have a Second Life, but none I’ve talked to about the personal side of my Second Life any time lately. I talk about my First Life in anonymous terms with Second Life friends sometimes, but I certainly haven’t been talking about my Second Life trysts and romances, obsessions and interests, with anyone in First Life. All that may change soon, possibly. Maybe soon I’ll find myself talking about my Second Life in detail with someone. I can only imagine it will be a wonderful relief not to be so private with all that information, so you can imagine this is someone I trust deeply, or else the result of a court order. 😉
By the way, I’m not going to be revealing anyone *else’s* secrets: just mine. I wouldn’t want or feel entitled to reveal anyone else’s secrets. Look what happened to Peter Pettigrew!
So how does a person prepare to reveal a secret life? I’m glad to say I don’t have the big problem many people doing this would have, of having to explain about cheating on someone. I would guess that would be the hardest part…but the rest of it is hard enough! I mean, I’ve lived my Second Life accountable to only myself, and haven’t worried about how things I would do might look. Even though I’ve withheld details of my Second Life romances in public arenas (although I know that must be an annoying habit to some readers!), I’ve felt very free to be sexual and romantic and daring in Second Life…and now, possibly, I might be telling someone about that. And that person may ask for details that I may have to blush a bit as I give.
I’m not cleaning anything up, not deleting pictures I have or clearing out my e-mail or vanishing my blog. I’m not leaving Second Life either, although recently I’ve become SLibate. No, actually I intend for Second Life to be part of my First Life for quite some time, possibly forever in one form or another, so it seemed to me important to bring the two lives together a bit. Even if I were to leave Second Life forever today, I think it would be important to be able to tell someone, sooner or later. Otherwise it would always be something I had to hide, always a secret. I like to think that for some people at least, there must come a time when all secrets can be revealed, a person to whom they can be a told. A truly intimate First Life relationship would kind of require that, wouldn’t it?
On some level, I’ve always intended to share, to arrive someday in a relationship that was that close. I know that not everyone wants or needs that kind of relationship, that there are different kinds of love and different kinds of partnerships, but I’ve always been a fan of the deep ones.
I’m going to take it in easy steps. The poor potential recipient of all this information isn’t familiar with Second Life, so before I dive into telling the intimate details of my Second Life, I need to introduce that person to Second Life and help them see why it has always to me been something human and open and meaningful instead of something cheap and geeky and false. I think it’s funny that I can’t point them to my own post on that topic, since of course that post is part of this blog, and this blog has kind of a lot of personal information about me in it, and that person would probably recognize me as me.
So, first I’ll need to introduce Second Life itself. Then I’ll introduce my present Second Life situation, explain about my friends and projects. And finally I’ll share my blog and my history. All of this is a lot to deal with! So I need to be considerate to the revealee, not to impose too much on them at once. Even though inevitably anyone I reveal it to should be fascinated and hugely impressed, of course. 😉
Has anyone gone through this before? I’d love to know your experiences. Seen any good blog posts on the subject?
^^^\ Kate /^^^